Fundamental Things
by spottedhorse
Summary: Jim Brass knew his daughter had been in town, still might be. Now someone else from his past is there as well. Will his new life in Vegas get turned upside down or will some ghosts from his past finally be laid to rest? T for now but we shall see...
1. Chapter 1

I know, I have another story hanging around out there somewhere. And I will get back to it, I promise. But this has been bugging me for awhile and I wanted to get it going before the season finale. And I will not leave this one dangling. It is the number one story on my writing list right now. Of course, that could change if nobody ikes it, lol. Anyway, here it is...

* * *

As it often does in small tightly knit communities, word travelled quickly through the corridors of the Las Vegas Police Department. By the time the Night Shift reported there were few who weren't aware of the murder at the Eclipse and the primary suspect. Eyes followed a certain Detective Captain as he walked through the hall to his office. Since he hadn't officially reported in yet, Jim Brass one of the few who was oblivious to the woman in interrogation room three, waiting for questioning.

No one dared approach him; no one wanted to be the deliverer of the latest news even though his reaction might be fodder for the gossip mill for the rest of the week. The building was full of brave people but right now, no one wanted to face Jim Brass. It wasn't until Under Sheriff Conrad Ecklie walked into his office that Brass understood that he was suddenly in a fish bowl and why.

"Conrad," Jim greeted his boss with surprise. "You're here kind of late, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am," Ecklie replied cautiously. "But I need to talk to you…make sure you understand that you'll be hands off on this one."

Jim looked a t his superior quizzically. "What?"

"This case…the shooting at the Eclipse."

Jim looked at Ecklie as if he'd grown two heads. "Look, it's been a long week and I've pulled two doubles. I woke up just in time to make it in and I haven't talked to anybody. In fact, officially I'm not even here yet. I'm still tired and not in the mood for games. So just spill it."

"Okay. There was a murder at The Eclipse today. The victim is from New Jersey. So is the prime suspect. Swing started processing and Stokes from Grave is picking it up. Vartann is handling the PD side of it. And he has brought in the suspect for questioning. You are not…I repeat, not, to go anywhere near that interrogation."

Jim's eyebrows rose. "Okay…" he watched Ecklie's expression and then asked, "so I know this suspect?"

"And the vic." Conrad confirmed.

"Okay…from Jersey… Newark then?"

"Right," Ecklie replied brusquely.

Letting out a sigh, Jim shook his head. "Look, I'm not in the mood for twenty questions. Who are we talking about here?"

"The victim is Mike O'Toole, formerly of the Newark PD. "

A sick feeling washed over Jim. "Oh Geez…" Looking at his superior sharply, he was almost afraid to ask. "And the suspect?"

"Your former wife, Nancy Brass."

Jim shook his head. "This is all wrong," he mumbled. Then looking up at Ecklie, he explained. "Nancy's a piece of work but she's no killer."

"Apparently she is. At least that's what the preliminary investigation is telling us. And I want you far away from it, Jim."

Jim shrugged. "No problem. Let Vartann do his thing. But I am going to get her a lawyer."

"Jim…" Ecklie whined.

"Look, we have a daughter. For her sake, I'm going to get a lawyer for her mother."

Ecklie started to object and then swallowed his protest. "Okay, fair enough," he finally said. "But you stay away."

"Right," Jim grunted, ending the conversation. Once Ecklie was gone, Jim picked up the phone to call in a favor.

All eyes followed the woman two hours later as Officer Mitchell walked her down to be booked. Curiosity overrode any sensibilities or considerations for the Captain. In fact, most wanted a peak at the woman that he had left behind when he moved to Vegas. Most did not know the story, had no clue about why he left or the history he and his wife shared with the victim. Oh, it was common knowledge that Captain Brass was divorced and had come to Vegas to start over. But few knew the details. The ones who knew only his irascible side assumed the breakup was his doing and watched with sympathetic eyes as the woman walked through the hall. Those who knew Jim Brass a little better wondered what she had done to make him leave. And the very few watched her with anger filled eyes wondering if she had come here to cause him further unhappiness.

Jim was unaware of the activities in the hall, engrossed instead on quarterly reports that needed to be finished by the end of the week. Earlier in his career he'd despised the paperwork that went with his job. As he had risen in the ranks the amount of related red tape had grown also. And now, as a Captain and Supervisor, the mountains of paper on his desk usually had nothing to do with the cases he also insisted on working. He'd resigned himself to the administrative duties and at times even found respite in them, not to mention a certain amount of pride as he noted the successes of those working under his tutelage. But never one to be still for long, Jim needed the activity of a case as well, not to mention the mental exercises. So over the years he'd found a balance that worked quite well for him and the department.

He wasn't sure why he glanced up when he did to catch the site of his ex being escorted down the hall. But the sight of her after all these years still caused a thud in his chest. She was looking down as she walked, depending on Mitch to guide her. The look of fear and shame on her face was unmistakable. As he watched her, he was surprised by how little she had changed since the last time he saw her more than a dozen years ago at Ellie's graduation. A little grayer, her hair was in a different style, and there were a few deep lines in her face but it was still the same beautiful face he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. He felt the tug in his chest that she'd always caused and tried to dismiss it. But after everything that had happened between them, all the nastiness and betrayals, even after all the years in between and the other relationships he'd half heartedly attempted, even after all that, he had to acknowledge he still had feelings for her. And it hurt to see her again.

Just then she glanced up, almost as if she sensed his presence inside his fishbowl of an office. Their eyes met, surprise registering in hers and sadness in his. Eyes remained locked as Mitch guided her along the path until she was out of sight and Jim was able to breathe again. Tossing his pen onto his desk, Jim leaned back in his chair and let out a long, labored breath. Closing his eyes he fought down the emotions that were swelling and swirling within. And he fought the impulse to race out the door and catch up to her.

He knew there would be no purpose to his chasing after her. There could be no outcome to such impulses that would make either feel any better. There were too many hurtful words and acts of duplicity for them ever to be comfortable with each other again. Yet seeing her, especially looking so vulnerable, brought up other feelings, old feelings that he thought had died long ago. For years it seemed that the only feelings he lad left for her were anger and bitterness. Yet here he was feeling sorry for her and… a little apprehensive maybe?


	2. Chapter 2

"Jim?" Marvin Sohm called softly as he knocked on Jim's door a few minutes later.

Looking up from his work, Jim shot a small grin at the attorney. Then rising, he started around his desk. "Marv, come in… please. Have a seat," he offered as he pointed to his couch along the side wall. "Can I get you something?"

"No…no, I'm good," Sohm replied as he settled on the sofa. "Just thought I'd stopped by and give you an update."

"Yeah, well…" Jim responded as he sat in a chair across from the lawyer. "I've been ordered to stay away from this one."

"As you should," Marvin Sohm agreed. "But since you called me…" he sighed deeply. "Anyway, she's been booked on First Degree Murder. I imagine arraignment will be tomorrow morning and since she is from out of town, bail might be a little high. I'm not sure she can afford it."

Jim frowned. She hadn't been rich but last he knew she had a good job back in Jersey. So he was a little surprised by the revelation. "I'll help if she needs it. I'm not loaded either but …well, I could probably scrape up a few bucks."

Marvin Sohm looked at Jim oddly. "I thought things ended badly with your marriage."

Jim let out a deep breath. Then looking back at the attorney pointedly, he replied. "It did. But that was a long time ago and…she's still my daughter's mother. I have to help if I can."

Sohm studied the detective carefully. "Well, I don't get it but if that's the way you want it…"

"It is," Jim affirmed.

"Then I'll let you know after the arraignment."

"Thanks," Jim said. "And I do appreciate you taking her case. I don't know the details but I do know the guys working the case. If they think she's guilty then the evidence must be pretty good. She'll need all the help you can give her."

"Normally I wouldn't go near this," Marvin told Jim as the men stood. "But I owe you for helping my kid out a couple of years ago. You helped turn things around for him and Linda and I could never thank you enough. So consider this a little quid pro quo. There'll never be a bill for my services although there will be some for our side of the investigation."

"Understood," Jim said somberly. "And again, I really appreciate this."

Jim watched the attorney walk out of his office and then turned back to his desk. Internally he was debating if he should try to reach Ellie. They hadn't talked in several years but with Nancy in such deep trouble, Ellie should know. But he really didn't know where to start looking for her. She was in Vegas, had been at least, but that was months ago. He'd tried to do a little poking around to find her but got nowhere and dropped it. Then shrugging he decided he would have Marv ask Nancy if she wanted Ellie there or not. But then he realized he was assuming the mother and daughter still talked. Still, he would ask.

Marvin's prediction proved correct the next morning as Nancy Brass stood for arraignment and her bail was set high. Jim winced when Marvin called him and told him the amount. "Wow, that's… a lot," Jim breathed out as his mind scrambled to think how he could muster the funds necessary to help.

"It is," replied Marvin. "I was expecting a high number but not quite like that. She is good for most of the percentage for the Bail bondsman. But she's about ten grand short. Did you mean it when you said you wanted to help?"

Jim sighed with relief. "Yeah, I'll have to move some funds around but I should have it by this afternoon."

"Alright then," Marvin said enthusiastically. "I'll let her know that she should be out before dinner. Next I guess we need to find her a place to stay."

"Um…let me see what I can do," Jim said as his mind began to race. "I know a couple of people…"

Jim spent the rest of the morning calling in favors. By the time he met Marvin after lunch, he had some temporary arrangements made for Nancy's immediate future. Handing Marvin an envelope, he nodded. "It's all there," he informed the attorney. "There's a cahier's check for the ten grand, a room key with directions to the motel, a card with enough on it that she should be able to eat for a week or so… even longer if she goes to the restaurants I've written on a piece of paper in there. She just needs to give them her name and they'll give her a free meal."

"Wow," Marvin said as he took the envelope. "Seems like you thought of everything."

"One more thing," Jim said quietly. "I need you to ask her if she wants me to call Ellie."

"Your daughter?"

"Right," Jim looked at him without dropping his gaze.

Marvin gave him a questioning look but simply nodded. "Okay, I'll ask."

Jim left Marvin's office feeling a little better. Whatever he'd done wrong in their marriage, he was making up for it now he thought.

Two days later, while Jim sat at his desk, his phone rang. "Brass," he answered, distracted by an open folder with crime scene evidence from his latest homicide.

"Jim?" a female voice spoke softly, a voice that was forever engrained in his memory.

"Nancy," he stated flatly, not wanting to give away the emotions that boiled up as he heard her voice.

"I um…well, Marvin told me you helped with the bail and the room and everything. And I…well, thank you."

Jim frowned in confusion. This was not the Nancy Brass he'd left behind all those years ago. That Nancy Brass wouldn't ever thank him for anything. "It's okay," he replied "I didn't want you sitting in jail, not with the last name of Brass. Too many people would take their anger at me out on you… And well, I was thinking about Ellie too."

"You did this for her? Not me?"

Again Jim was surprised by her tone. She didn't sound upset or angry; in fact, she almost sounded good with it. "Yeah, mostly… She won't let me do anything to help her but I figured keeping her mom out of jail might be something."

"Right." There was a long pause before she spoke again. "About Ellie… Marvin said you wanted to know if she should know. I'm not sure how I feel about that, honestly," she sighed. "And unless you know where she is, I wouldn't know how to contact her anyway."

"I don't," he answered quickly. Then grimacing, he kept the conversation going. "She was here a few months ago, in Vegas. But she didn't get in touch with me. I found out…well…through a suspect." He grimaced again. He didn't know how much Nancy knew about Ellie's life and he didn't want to be the deliverer of the news.

"Not surprising I suppose, given her career choice," Nancy said sadly.

"You know about that, huh?"

"Yeah, she didn't pull any punches last time we talked, a few years ago." Nancy's sigh was clear through the phone. "She hates us both, I'm afraid."

"Well, me anyway," Jim countered.

Silence fell between them and Jim was looking for an excuse to hang up when Nancy blurted out, "Can we meet for coffee or something? I know you're supposed to stay away and all but…" her voice faded.

It had been years since Jim had talked with her but the nuances of her voice were still with him. She was alone and feeling it. "Um, yeah I am supposed to stay away. But I guess a cup of coffee wouldn't hurt. Just… no talking about your case, okay?"

"Thanks Jimmy," she replied, sounding happier already.

They arranged to meet in two hours at a little place Jim knew of where they wouldn't attract any attention. Grimacing again as he hung up the phone, Jim wondered why the hell he had agreed to the meeting.

* * *

All the comments have been so nice. I think we are all a little Brass starved; I know I am! I'll try to keep the updates regular (at least for me) and not spread them out too far. But between hubby's health and work I'm pretty busy these days. Of course, it helps that the boss is out of the office for the week;

Hope you enjoyed.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm keeping at it. Hope you enjoy this installment. More to come in a few days.

* * *

"You look good Nancy," Jim said as they met outside the little coffee shop.

"So do you," Nancy shot back too quickly.

"Yeah, right," Jim smirked. "Losing my hair, more lines on my face…let's just say I'm not dead yet.."

"You look like your dad," she countered. "I always liked your dad." Rolling his eyes, Jim held the door open for her to walk in. "Yeah, he was a real lover" Jim snarked. Once inside, Nancy turned to him looking surprised. But she didn't say anything and relieved, Jim let it go.

They found a table in the corner after getting their cups of coffee. Settling in took a couple of minutes, with an amused Jim watching Nancy load up her cup with sweetener.

"What?" she asked when she realized he was watching.

"Nothing," he grinned. When that didn't seem to appease her, he filled in, "just that some things haven't changed."

"Yeah it has," she answered throatily. "I'm using that new one, Stevia, instead of the pink one."

"My point," he teased. "The newest thing out there and you gotta have it."

Nancy stared at him for a minute, her expression a mixture of confusion and gratification. "You're right, some things haven't changed," she finally quipped.

"So, what were you doing in Vegas before your…ah…problem?" Jim tried to keep his expression neutral, not wanting to stir things up between them.

"I won a trip out here. Hadn't had a vacation in years and thought, what the hell…. My luck, first vacation in forever and I end up in your guest house."

"Hey, not as my guest…" he deadpanned. "So any luck at the tables before you were…distracted?"

"Nope. I only got to play a little while the night I arrived and Mike showed up the next day to ruin everything."

"So you two…together?" he asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Hell no," Nancy barked. "After he got out of prison, I let him back in for a little while and he was worse than ever. By then I think all he wanted was to stick it to you and he thought sticking me would do that. He finally wised up and realized you couldn't care less… so he left. Good riddance…."

Well, glad to hear you got smarter about him anyway."

"Yeah, well… getting messed up with him was the dumbest thing I ever did, Jimmy. I want you to know that." She was looking straight at him, square in the eyes with the most honest expression he had seen on her since the early days of their marriage.

"Thanks. But…that was a long time ago…," he said, trying to push back on the hurt he still felt over her betrayal.

She looked surprised by his mild response. "I'm sorry…I really am sorry, Jimmy. I…was stupid."

Studying her face, trying to figure out what her game was, Jim didn't immediately respond. Finally he shrugged. "We both were," he admitted.

"Funny thing is…" she started, her eyes looking down at the table, "every guy I've met since…" She sighed. "It's hard…I mean, I think, 'he's not as funny as Jimmy' or 'he's not as cute as Jimmy' or 'his eyes don't twinkle like Jimmy's'… and none of 'em make me feel like you used to…"

"None of us feel like we used to," Jim said softly, trying not to ask the question that sat between them like a huge white elephant. He had asked it once, long ago and she didn't have a good answer then. Why would now be any different?

"Thing is, I keep asking myself…over and over…why I did what I did. I was angry Jimmy…angry at you for being gone so much. And scared too. But that's no excuse…"

Jim was surprised by her candor and the honesty with her feelings. "A few years ago we had a case…an undercover cop got killed by the gang he had infiltrated. I'd met the wife before…" Jim shook his head at the memory. "Anyway, turned out she was the one that outed him. She was angry about him being gone and apparently he was in deep cover for so long he changed…was becoming one of them. I almost called you after the case…"

"What? Why?" She seemed genuinely interested.

"I…I guess I saw the other side. I was gone a lot when I was working vice; you were alone all the time…and maybe scared. We were already having our issues by then but still…I think we still cared about each other then. I did anyway…"

Nancy reached across the table with her hand and touched his hand that was wrapped around his coffee cup. Her fingers were soft and warm and rather than flinching as he might have done in the past, he remained still, content with the small gesture. "Jimmy, I did still care…I still do."

His eyes drifted up from their hands to her eyes. He couldn't read her, not like he used to, but he thought he saw sincerity in her gaze. And in that instant, despite all turmoil, all the years of hurt, and all the betrayals, he knew. He did still care…and he still loved her too. And that sacred him more than anything had in a very long time.

Two days later Nancy appeared in his office doorway. "Jimmy?" she spoke, smiling as she did.

Looking up form his computer, Jim's eyes narrowed. "Nancy? What are you doing here? I don't think this is such a good idea…"

"I asked Mavin to let me be the one to tell you. The charges were dropped and I've been released." Her eyes were dancing and her face lit with happiness.

"Released?" Jim asked as he leaned back in his chair. "So, you're free to go?""

"Yes. You should get your portion of my bond back by the end of the day. And I'm free to leave."

Digesting her news, Jim was suddenly uneasy. "Leave? You headed back to Jersey then?"

"Not right away. I thought…well, since I'm here and you're here, I thought we could…look for Ellie…together." She looked anxious, timid even; not an expression he thought he'd ever seen on her before.

Jim stood and motioned her to his couch in the corner. He settled on a chair next to it after she sat. "I've looked for her Nancy. She doesn't want to be found. And she might not even be here anymore."

"I know. But I have to try."

Seeing something in her expression that he couldn't read, Jim tilted his head. "Why did you really come to Vegas, Nancy? Did you come to find her? And why did O'Toole follow you here?"

"Yeah, well… kind of. Mike has a son who needs a bone marrow transplant. He called me out of the blue wanting to know about Ellie. He thought she might be a possible donor. I never told him, Jimmy, but somehow he guessed the truth…that he was the sperm donor. Anyway, in the conversation he said he'd had a P.I. looking for her and she had been in Vegas. He was heading here to find her. So I came hoping I'd find her first. I didn't want her hearing it from him."

"Why didn't you call me when you got here?"

"I didn't think you'd…I thought maybe…I mean, last time we talked we didn't really talk; we just sort of…yelled."

Jim sighed. "Right," he agreed as he remembered that last scene. "Yeah, ok…we'll try to find her. But do you think O'Toole got to her?"

"No. He didn't. When I saw him at the hotel he was furious. He thought I had found her and was holding out on him. He said he'd looked everywhere and the trail was cold and he blamed me. We were shouting at each other and things got pretty vicious and he slapped me. That was in the hallway and people saw it. I guess that's why the cops thought it was me that killed him. Anyway, I went back to my room and half an hour later he was dead in the hotel parking lot."

"Okay. Right….I told Ecklie that you didn't do it," Jim replied.

"You did?" she asked, surprised. "After all these years and everything…you thought I was innocent?"

"Yeah, well… you nearly killed me with your affairs, Nancy, but you're not a killer. I told him that."

Nancy's eyes shifted to her hands and she sat quietly for a moment, a rare thing Jim thought. But then she looked back up at him and smiled. "Thanks. It's good to know that," she said softly.

Feeling himself being pulled in, Jim changed the subject. "So you know about Ellie's life style?"

"Yeah," Nancy said looking displeased. "She was already trying drugs before she left home and then I heard about the trouble here before…what, ten…twelve years ago? She told me you turned up in L.A. too but she didn't say much about why except her friend was killed. But she said you were pretty rough on her…called her a piece of plumbing."

"She was working the street corners, Nancy….still is last I heard."

"Yeah, I guessed as much and Mike told me his P.I. had turned up some arrests for that…and other things. She did a year in California, did you know that? She took some john's money and got charged with robbery."

"I didn't know. She was back here a few years ago but I only saw her once and we didn't talk. She ran away before we could."

"Yeah," Nancy nodded. "She told me about that too. Called me after she got back to L.A. Said you'd been shot and some guy had called her to come. She said your people were pretty protective but that a couple of them tried to be nice. But when she saw you … when she saw that you almost died and then when you came back…it scared her. I asked her what scared her about it she told me everything. It scared her that you might die and it scared her that you might live. I think she felt like you didn't love her anymore and when you looked at her…when she saw you did it was too much…"

"I don't remember it too much," Jim admitted. "I saw her on the other side of the window but it wasn't until later that I found out it was real. I thought I was just dreaming. I wish she had stayed…maybe we could have talked…"

"She didn't want to hear anything you had to say…or anything I had to say for that matter. She called me then because she was upset and frightened….she was crying. But then she didn't call me again for two years. That time she was high and I couldn't make sense of anything she was saying. Next thing I heard was she was arrested and she needed money for bail."

"Did you send it?" Jim asked warily.

Nancy sighed. "No, I didn't. I thought maybe…well, more like hoped that time in jail might sober her up…maybe she'd get her head on straight."

Jim nodded, his thoughts deep in sadness. "Guess it didn't work. But you did the right thing. Bailing her out would have just had her back on the streets right away."

"For all the good it did…"

They made plans to search for Ellie. After Nancy left, Jim did some checking with his officers but no one knew anything. So he put in for a week's worth of time, filed the last of his administrative paper work, handed his active cases off to others, and left LVPD to meet Nancy and begin their search.


	4. Chapter 4

They spent the night driving through Vegas, checking the streets for her. A few times, Jim stopped and talked to some of the hookers in the most likely areas. One remembered Ellie but hadn't seen her for a few weeks. Discouraged, the two parents stopped at a diner for breakfast before Jim took Nancy back to her motel for some sleep.

"Thanks Jimmy," she said as he pulled into a parking space in front. "We covered a lot of ground and I wouldn't have known where to even begin."

"Yeah, well…twenty years working here, I kinda got a feel for it."

"Yeah, but still…"

"So what time you want me to pick you up tonight?" he asked.

Nancy looked at him thoughtfully. "Pick me up at seven. I'll treat ya to dinner before we go looking again."

"Nancy, she's my daughter too. You don't have to…"

"Yeah, I do. You helped me a lot and besides… I want to."

Jim shrugged. "Okay, seven then."

Nancy smiled. "Okay then. Sweet dreams," she said as she opened the car door to get out.

Before he realized what he was doing, Jim's hand reached out and grabbed her arm. She turned at looked at him, surprised. "Jimmy?"

"I just… well, I'm glad we're…able to talk…to work together on this. The way we left things…before….I didn't like leaving it like that."

Nancy's features softened. "Me neither, Jimmy. I'm glad too."

He released her arm and she climbed out. "Seven," she called out as she walked away.

Jim sat in his car and watched as she disappeared into her room. Various emotions swirled in his gut confusing him but the one that swirled above the rest was his inclination to follow her through that door. Grimacing, he turned the key in his ignition, backed out of the space, and fled from the parking lot.

Dinner that evening was relaxed, more comfortable than they had been in each other's company in years, decades even. Still, Jim had to keep reminding himself to be careful, to keep a tight lid on his emotions, but he was enjoying this time with Nancy anyway.

Finally, after they were done eating, Nancy leaned back in her chair. "So you never remarried?"

Jim's eyes widened, the question coming out of nowhere as far as he was concerned. "Um…no," he answered cautiously.

Nancy smirked. "So's that because you were having too much fun being on your own again or 'cause you never got over me?"

Studying her expression, looking for signs of what she was getting at, Jim hesitated before answering. But finally, he gave her an honest answer. "Yeah, at first I was happy to be free. Those last years of our marriage….they gutted me. But after a few years, I dunno, I started to think maybe…" He shrugged. "But the woman I meet on the job…well, for the most part I don't want them in my life permanently or…."

A serious expression settled on her face and with caring eyes she looked at him. "Or what?"

It was Jim's turn to smirk. "They figured they could do better than me. I dunno…maybe I'm not cut out for it, marriage and all that goes with it. I seem to be better at casual relationships than long term ones."

"Jimmy…I'm sorry. I did that to ya. You tried to be a good husband, at least in the beginning. The job got in the way more and more but you still tried….until you found out how I was spending my time. I hurt you bad and I know it and I'm sorry."

Letting out a deep sigh, Jim smiled sadly at her. "Yeah, it did hurt…when I found out. But there's more to it…I mean, I must've not been doing something right for you to feel that lonely. And instead of trying to figure it out, I jumped into an affair too. Didn't help the situation much, did it?"

"No…it didn't," Nancy agreed. "But after it was all over…after I had time to think about it; I realized that it did make me understand how you felt when you found out about me. We screwed up, Jimmy. We had a good thing and we screwed it up."

"Yeah, we did. And worse, it screwed up Ellie," Jim replied, his eyes glistening with tears that wanted to escape.

Watching him, watching his face, especially his eyes, Nancy was moved. Reaching across to hold his hand, she was taken aback. "You really do love her, don't you?"

Jim looked at her hand on his and then into her face, equally stunned. "That surprises you?"

"I thought…well, when you found out that she wasn't ….that Mike was the sperm donor, you were so angry, mean even. And you hardly would look at her."

"Yeah, I screwed that up big time. I wasn't angry with her and I didn't stop loving her. She's my kid," he shrugged. "I might not be her Dad biologically but in my heart…where it counts… she's my kid. But it hurt so much when I found out; I just couldn't… I needed some space. It scared me how angry I was and I didn't want to take it out on her. But I hurt her anyway; maybe in worse ways than what I was afraid of. I just didn't want to be like my Dad."

"Your Dad? He was there for ya…"

"Yeah, him and his fists…until I was old enough to fight back," he scowled. "He had mellowed by the time you met him," he said more gently. "And he knew I wouldn't think twice about striking back by then, so he behaved himself around you. But when I was a kid he didn't mind smacking us around. I didn't want to be like that with Ellie."

Nancy looked at him as if she were seeing him for the first time. "I didn't know…didn't realize."

Grimacing, Jim nodded. "I didn't want you to know. It wasn't something people talked about and well, he was a good cop, just a lousy father. Guess I turned out like him after all," Jim lamented.

"Geez, Jimmy. It makes so many things clearer now. I wondered why…"

"Why what?"

"Whenever you'd get mad, I mean really mad, you'd just leave…just turn and walk out the door like you didn't care….like we weren't important enough for you to waste your breath. But now…I get it; you were angry enough you were afraid you might loose it and smack us around. That was it, wasn't it? That's why you were always walking away when we argued?"

Relief rolled over Jim in waves, washing away years of tension and guilt as he looked at her. "Yeah, it was. I didn't wanna hit you Nancy, not ever. But sometimes I felt like I did and I had to leave. I couldn't let myself do that."

"Oh Jimmy…" she squeezed his hand, tears sitting in her eyes now. "So you just kept it all bottled up inside. Oh Jimmy…why didn't you tell me?"

"Like I said, we didn't talk about things like that back then and... well, I was a tough guy in my own mind and that's not how tough guys act." He paused as he watched a single tear trickle down her cheek. "Hey, water under the bridge…" he said as he turned his hand to squeeze hers. "Right now, we need to find Ellie."

"Yeah…of course," she said as she wiped the tear from her cheek and gathered herself to leave.


	5. Chapter 5

This one is really short but I wanted to get it up before tonight. I'm happily anticipating the season finale and also worried that the Morgan/Ecklie story will over shadow the Brass one. Meantime, I'd love feedback; have I lost my Brass touch, lol?

* * *

Having had no luck on the streets, Jim decided that tonight they would check out some of the bars and clubs where "professional women" hung out. Maybe Ellie had moved inside. Or maybe someone there had seen her.

They'd stopped at four other places before Jim pulled into the parking lot of Dragon's Lair. There were a few places he would have preferred Nancy not visit and this was one of them. He hoped the owner, Sherrie wouldn't be there but as they walked in and Sherrie spotted him from across the room, Jim shrugged inwardly. "Since when do I have any good luck?" he asked himself.

"Jimmy Brass…haven't seen you for ages," Sherrie drawled in a deep husky voice that dripped with hunger. Her hand came up as she approached and before he could respond, she had her arm around him and she was glaring at Nancy.

"Yeah, well…I been busy," Jim replied, mildly embarrassed by her forwardness. Sherrie owned the place and Jim had been called out to respond to various levels of crimes over the years. Sherrie was a business acquaintance and Jim had worked hard to keep it that way. She'd made no secret that she would welcome his attentions. Problem for Jim was that she welcomed just about any man's attentions. But now, she had her arm around him in an air of intimate familiarity that made him uncomfortable.

"Too busy to come see me?" she cooed.

Jim wasn't sure if he was worried or relieved that Nancy had yet to say anything. "Yeah, 'fraid so," he smirked in an effort at recovery. "Crime rate might be down here but it is up all over the rest of town."

"You chased all the bad ones away, Jimmy," she assured him.

"Look Sherrie, I'm…we're…" he corrected himself as he glanced at Nancy, who looked at him with a mixture of amusement and frustration. "We're looking for a girl…"

"Oh Jimmy… I don't know. I don't do threesomes," Sherrie said as she looked from him to Nancy uncertainly.

"No…no, you got it wrong. That's not what I meant," he shot back as he rolled his eyes. Sherrie was needling him, he knew because there had never been anything between them beyond him helping her out of a jam or two. He heard Nancy stifle a laugh, which made his neck warm. "Look, I've got this picture but she's older now…about 30. You seen her around?" he asked as he showed her the picture.

Sherrie took the picture from him and studied it. "Yeah, I think I have. She used to work the streets but… Larry over at the Flaming Bull …he's been letting some of the girls work inside…for a fee, if you get my meaning. Anyway, I think she was there a few nights ago when I was there. She was working it pretty good but not getting much action. Larry said she's asking too much seeing she's past her prime and all…" She handed the picture back to him with a questioning look. "She a suspect in a case or something?"

"Or something," Jim answered darkly. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Nancy who looked …broken. "Thanks," he said as he turned back to Sherrie.

"My pleasure," she said as she licked her lips salaciously. Jim ignored her and tucked his hand under Nancy's elbow, turning her to walk her out.

Back in the car, Nancy turned to him as he started the ignition. "That's quite a _friend_ you have there, _Jimmy_," she said.

"Not a friend…I met her on the job and that's all it is," he answered, squirming in his seat. Letting his discomfort loose in a loud huff, he turned his head to look at her. "I know you thought…probably still think, I'm a player. And for awhile after I got to Vegas I guess I was. But …I mean, I like the game and all but when it comes down to it…"

"You're not that guy," she finished for him.

"No, I'm not. I'm not gonna lie and tell you I been celibate all these years, but I'm careful about where I sleep."

She eyed him quietly for a long moment. "You've had plenty of offers too, I'll bet."

Jim shrugged. "Not as many as I used to get," he said self deprecatingly.

Nancy chuckled. "But ya still got it Jimmy, whatever it is, ya still got it."

Surprised and feeling a little smug, Jim threw the car into gear and headed for the Flaming Bull.


	6. Chapter 6

Larry remembered Ellie. "What's not to remember?" he quipped when he was shown the picture. "She's a hot little fire cracker. But her temper…Ooooo, don't want to be around that." He added as he handed the picture back. "She was here…three, four nights a week for about two months. Then she was gone."

"When's the last time you saw her?" Jim asked.

"About…oh, I dunno …a week ago, maybe two. She hit it off with some glamour boy; looked like he had stepped out of GQ…that kind of guy. He didn't fit in here, that's for sure. They left together and that's the last I saw of her."

"Glamour Boy have a name?"

"Nope…least not one he shared with me."

"Remember what he looked like?"

"Yeah…dark hair, upscale cut; heavy eyebrows though…light eyes. 'Bout my height…lean and muscular."

"Age?"

"I'm not so good at ages but 40… give or take…"

"Thanks," Jim said as he glanced around noticing the looks Nancy was attracting.

"Why you looking for Ellie?" Larry wanted to know. Jim hesitated. He had flashed his badge but hadn't given Larry his name when they came in and he wasn't sure if Larry even knew Ellie's last name.

Nancy saw Jim shift his weight uneasily and stepped in. "She's my daughter. I need to find her."

Larry looked from Jim to Nancy. "And you got LVPD to help. You must have a lot of pull. Usually these girls don't get much notice when they go missing."

"Yeah, well…maybe if somebody would report them missing…" Jim shot back. He suddenly didn't like this guy or the way he was looking at Nancy.

"Hey," Larry put up his hands defensively. "Just saying…"

Again Nancy deflected Larry's interest. "Well, I knew Jim here back in Jersey, so I asked him to help me find her."

Larry looked her over appraisingly. "Lucky Jim," he sneered.

"Okay, thanks for the help," Jim said as he took Nancy's elbow protectively and guided her out.

Nancy blew up once they were outside. "Why are we leaving? That guy knows something. I'd bet on it."

"Yeah…he knows something. But he was also looking at you as a replacement for Ellie."

"Me?" she scoffed. "You nuts? I'm older than him and I don't…"

"You might be older than him but you look a hell of a lot better than the women who darken his door. This is the kind of place hookers go to die, Nancy. When they're all used up and can't get any action they come to places like this. Larry and other guys like him take advantage of that. He saw undamaged goods in you…something he hasn't had in a long time."

"I…you think I look good?" she asked, surprised.

"Didn't you see any of the women there, Nancy? Hell yeah, you look good to him. And there were a few other guys in there salivating too. Maybe it isn't such a good idea, me bringing you along to these places."

"No…no Jimmy. I gotta find her."

"Yeah but…"

"I'll um….dress down, not use make-up, and try to be quiet but I have to do this."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Be quiet…yeah, that'll be the day."

He led her back to the car, trying not to think too much about how nervous he'd gotten. Nancy was an attractive woman in any setting and having all those guys ogle her had set Jim on edge. He thought he'd been over those feelings where Nancy was concerned for years but tonight those feelings had all come tumbling in on him. He didn't want other men looking at her…not like _that. _

Jim held the door for Nancy as she climbed in the car. After a brief scan of the parking lot, he let his eyes drift to her, down to her legs as she swung them into the car. He skirt slid up and he got a healthy glimpse of her thighs before she pushed it back down. Closing the door with a sigh, he walked around to his door and opened it, taking another deep breath before climbing in. _Damn I really really didn't need to see her legs like that,_ he thought.

There's one other place I want to try tonight," he told her. "But you gotta be quiet…not a peep; you understand," he concluded a little more forcefully than he intended."

Nancy looked at him, her annoyance clear in the darts her eyes were shooting at him. "Geez Jim, it's like déjà vu when you get like this."

He focused on started the car and ignored her snipe. Jim didn't want to argue with her, not now…not while they were trying to find Ellie. An argument now would just make him lose focus.

To his surprise, Nancy did as he asked and remained quiet as he talked to the owner at Lulu's. Lucy Hernandez was no nonsense and had worked her way to where she was the hard way, one john at a time. She been pretty once but the years on the street had taken a toll and now she just looked tired. When Jim first arrived in Vegas, Lucy was working the street corners as an independent. He'd questioned her in relation to an armed robbery gone bad and she'd actually been reasonably co-operative. As the questioning had ended he'd asked her why she was working independently. Most of the women had pimps, a double edged sword that gave them protection on the street but opened the girls up to other dangers.

"I ain't sharing my take with nobody," she'd fired back. "Ain't no pimp gonna get none of my take til he lies down an' takes it like I hafta." Streetwise as they come, Lucy had provided him several tips over the years. A while back he'd asked her why she was so helpful. "Cause you ain't ever given me no grief," she answered plainly. "You don't act like I got a disease or something. I help you out from time to time and maybe you help me out sometime too." But she'd never asked for anything in return and her tips had always been reliable.

"Lucy, I'm looking for a girl," he began.

Lucy looked him over slowly and then glanced up at Nancy. "What? She ain't takin' care o' yo needs, Jimbo? Well, I got a couple of girls who'd be more than happy…hell, up til a few years ago I woulda helped you out but I don't do that no more. But I don't get it…plenty of women in this town would gladly lie down with ya."

Jim grinned. 'Thanks Lucy, but its not like that." He pulled out the picture of Ellie. "I'm looking for this girl. You seen her around any?"

Lucy studied the picture and then glanced again at Nancy. "She your girl?"

Nancy looked startled and glanced at Jim before nodding slowly. "She is."

Lucy looked from her back to the picture and then back at Jim. "What's this to you, Jimbo? She a missing person or something?"

"She's my kid too," he answered honestly. They'd always been straight with one another and he knew that was the best way to get her help.

"Oh." She looked back at the picture. "You ain't gonna like what I can tell ya."

"We know about her lifestyle, Lucy. But she's disappeared and we need to find her."

Lucy sighed and handed the picture back to him. "She was on the streets for months, working a few different corners. Then Larry took her in over at the Bull. I heard a few days ago that she'd moved on…picked up some loaded john and was living the high life… set up in her own place and everything."

"You have any idea who this john is or where he's got her?"

"Don't know about him but Sadie said Ellie was staying in some high rise on the other side of the strip, near Flamingo. Sadie saw her over there, heading into the building with the john."

"This Sadie…you think she could find the building again?"

"Don't know. You can ask her. That's her over in the booth," Lucy said as she pointed to the corner.

Jim looked at the young woman in the booth and nodded. "Thanks Lucy; I owe you one."

"You owes me more than one," she laughed.

"Yeah but this one's personal."

"Yeah," she agreed sadly. "So this one is on the house," she winked.

* * *

Many many thanks for the comments and reviews. They keep me typing away. Beaujolais said I am writing Jim and Nancy nicer than on the show; that made me chuckle. I really am trying to be nicer about Nancy than I have been before. But part of me wants to shake her and pusnish her for hurting our man.


	7. Chapter 7

Everyone was so kind with comments on the last chapter! I do love to read what you are thinking; sometimes I even incorporate it into my stories;) Anyway, here's the next installment. Took a little longer than I wanted but darn it, just when I was on a roll, I got called into work.

* * *

Jim led Nancy to the booth. "Sadie?"

"Who's asking," the girl answered Jim guessed her to be about Ellie's age. She was pretty enough but not the kid of looks that last. Jim knew her future; her earning days were numbered in her present profession.

"We're looking for Ellie," he said as he pulled the picture out again. "Lucy said you saw her recently. Think you could find the building again?"

Sadie's eyes narrowed as she looked at him and then at Nancy. "You a cop?"

Nancy answered before Jim could. "We're her parents. We haven't heard from her in awhile so we just want to find her, to know she is okay."

Sadie frowned. "She told me about you…about her daddy being a cop and the way her mama slept around. Said neither of you cared about her."

"That's not true," Nancy said.

"Look," Jim interrupted. "She hates us, we get it. We're not trying to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. But …neither of us has heard from her in a long time and we just want to talk to her, to know she really is okay. That's all."

Sadie stared at him for a long moment. "Okay, I'll show you. But it's gonna cost you."

Jim rolled his eyes. "How much?"

"A hundred. That's not what I usually get for my time but since you ain't asking for nothing but information, a hundred will do."

Jim pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket and began to count them. "All I got is eighty. That'll have to be good enough."

Sadie looked like she was going to balk but then she sighed. "Okay, eighty then," she said as she slid out of her seat. "But we're going in your car."

They drove across town, Jim following Sadie's instructions. She seemed to get nervous as they pulled up across the street from the building. "That's it," she said. "I saw her go in there with this guy but from there, I don't know."

"What's this guy look like?"

"He was thin…looked like he works out or something. Had dark hair. That's about all I remember."

"That's okay…that's good. You want me to take you back to Lucy's?"

Sadie looked around. "Nah, think I'll wander around here for awhile. See what the action's like over here."

Jim looked at her pointedly. "You know you're going to get picked up working this neighborhood. Residents in these buildings don't want hookers on their street."

"Yeah, I know. I'll walk a block or two…"

"Okay then. Thanks for your help," he said as he handed her his card. "If you need anything, call me. I owe you one."

She took his card and looked at it. "Yeah? For real?"

"Yeah…but just one."

She looked at him quizzically. "No cop's ever been friendly to me before…you're not like the rest of 'em. Thanks," she said as she climbed out of his car.

Nancy had watched the exchange with interest; not only for the information that Sadie gave them but for the interaction between her former husband and the prostitute. "Why were you nice to her, Jimmy?"

"Nice?" he asked mockingly.

"Yeah…you talked nice to her and gave her your card and all."

"That's how I work with these girls…they help me, I help them sometime. Makes for good public relations and all…"

"Then why didn't you treat Ellie at least that good when you were in L.A. with her?"

Jim sighed. Finally she was showing her old colors. "I'm not going to waste time with you on the past other than to say that she's my daughter; I want more for her than the life she's got."

Nancy glared at him but seemed to let it go. "So now what?" she finally asked.

"We wait and watch for Ellie…or this john with the dark hair."

An hour later they were still waiting and watching. From her fidgeting in the other seat, Jim knew Nancy was getting impatient. But he'd spent too many nights like this to let it get to him. Sure, time dragged as they waited while nothing happened. But patience usually paid off. Besides, he couldn't just go charging into the building knocking on doors. He was off the clock and had no official reason to be there, let alone knocking on doors. So he tried to ignore her fidgeting and concentrated instead on the entrance to the building.

Another long hour passed. To her credit, Nancy had managed to restrain her restlessness, and apart form a few sighs and huffs, hadn't made any noises about doing things differently. She almost grinned as his gaze settled on her momentarily. She was hunched in her seat, her arms folded and her ankles crossed in a posture that suggested she was physically containing her impatience. "What?" she asked testily.

"Nothing," Jim replied tersely. "Just… some things haven't changed."

"What do ya mean?" She looked at him; her eyes narrow as if she were actually trying to understand, unlike the sharp glare he half expected.

"Its just… when we were together and I did something to set you off but Ellie was around and you didn't want to go at it in front of her…that's what you would do."

Straightening up in the seat, she blinked. "Oh…well, I don't want to go at it with you now. I just…this is hard…this just…waiting."

"Yeah, it is. I guess I've spent too many stake outs doing it though to let it get to me anymore," he replied as his eyes scanned the street.

"You used to come home complaining about spending all night in the car just waiting," she commented with a far away voice. "You said it got in your nerves…"

"It did… still does sometimes. But the pay-off is worth it sometimes."

"You still do this a lot?" she sounded surprised.

Jim glanced back at her and noted her honest interest. "Not really. Being captain has its advantages. I get to make the other detectives do it."

"So…you're not on the streets like you used to be?"

Jim shifted, his ass suddenly feeling asleep. "Not as much…no…but I still keep a hand in the investigations. The job is getting to be more and more administrative though. And honestly, it's time. I can't run 'em down like I used to and…I dunno, just when I think I've seen about everything a case comes along that tells me different. I think I'm reaching my limit. So I leave more of it to the younger guys."

He could feel Nancy studying him, her curiosity like a layer of air in the car. Trying to not think about what she might be thinking, he focused on the building again. Her scrutiny made him all too aware of the passage of time and the changes he'd undergone. He hoped most had been for the better although he knew time had not been kind to his body. Once he'd been a decently good looking guy, he thought. Anymore, when he looked in the mirror he just saw old. He knew she must be seeing it too.

Finally she spoke, breaking the heaviness of the atmosphere. "I guess we're both older and slower… a little less eager…less passionate. But I think… well, at least for me anyway… I think it gives me perspective to ...you know, appreciate things better. I didn't have that before…when we were together."

Jim's focus was suddenly on her. "Appreciate what? I didn't give you much to appreciate…at least that's the impression I got…have had all these years."

She opened her mouth to reply when movement caught Jim's eye and he stared back at the building. "That's him…gotta be," he said assuredly as a man fitting the description of the john walked toward the building. "Stay here," he ordered as he climbed out of his car. Trying to look nonchalant so he wouldn't arouse the other man's suspicion, he crossed the street to get a closer look. The closer he got the more certain he was.

The man eyed Jim cautiously as he opened the door to the building and seemed to get nervous as Jim followed him into the elevator. Jim saw that the man pushed the button for the third floor so Jim reached over and pushed it for the fourth. It seemed to calm the guy a little. The doors opened to the third and the man stepped out. Just as the elevator doors closed, Jim pushed the open button and they did, giving him a view of the corridor. Peeking out, he saw the guy enter the third door to the right. Satisfied, Jim let the doors close and let the elevator take him up and then back down.

Back in the car, he explained to Nancy. "Okay, we can sit around and wait for him to go out again and then go knock on his door; maybe Ellie will answer. Or we can go knock now."

Nancy opened her mouth to answer but closed it thoughtfully. He could see the eagerness in her expression; she wanted to go now. He was surprised that she was even considering the other option. Finally she asked, "so what do you think we should do?"

Jim sighed. "The cop in me says to wait it out, try to get her alone. But as her dad…"

Nancy had seen the look he had on his face enough times to know what he was feeling. He wanted to go in now and was hoping the man would give Jim an excuse to beat him up. "Yeah, "she swallowed. "I don't know what she'll so if we show up while he is there…"

"So…we wait?"

Glancing back at the building, Nancy nodded. "Yeah, for awhile…and then if he doesn't come out we go in?" She looked at him hesitantly.

"Okay, so we have a plan…" he agreed as he settled back in his seat. "We'll give it an hour or two and if he hasn't come out, we go in."


	8. Chapter 8

Time was passing far too slowly for Jim. He'd been patient before but now that he knew where Ellie most likely was, he was ready for action. It didn't help his restlessness that Nancy was agitated too.

As Nancy listen to his frustrated sighs and caught him glancing at his watch several times in less than ten minutes, she knew how anxious he was. But as impatient as she had been before Ellie's john had returned, her impatience now wasn't about finding Ellie. Her mind had been playing and replaying their earlier conversation. She really hadn't appreciated anything Jim had tried to do for their marriage, not even his willingness to overlook the fact that Ellie was not his biological daughter. She'd been relieved, of course, but had simply taken his acquiescence as another sign that he really didn't care. Now she realized he did care, very much. And if his behavior now was any indication, he still cared. Looking back, Nancy realized she probably had never really given him a chance to be a good husband and so he'd put all of his ambition and energy into being a good cop.

"Jimmy..," she said softly

"Yeah?" he responded as quietly, his eyes still fixed on the building.

"Earlier…what you said about me not appreciating anything…that I thought you didn't give me anything to appreciate…"

"Yeah, what about it?" he asked bitterly.

"I…well … I think maybe you're right. I couldn't see that you were trying…that you did care about me…us…I was so locked in to the way I thought things oughta be…I couldn't see how good they could be."

Jim watched her face as she spoke, saw the honesty in her words, and yet, somehow none of it moved him. Shaking his head, he shrugged. "It was a long time ago Nancy. Maybe we should just …"

"Just what?" she asked as she looked at him brightly.

"Let it go," he answered in a gravely voice. He'd spent all the emotion he had for her years ago. No sense reviving old feelings, he thought. But as she continued to look at him, study him for deeper meanings, he felt his neck growing warmer. Maybe should did still have an effect on him, he mused derisively.

He heard her sigh. "I don't think I can," she muttered quietly.

Closing his eyes momentarily, Jim quelled the emotions that suddenly sprung up within; he couldn't go there…not again. Knowing that if he sat here any longer things would get said that couldn't be taken back, he began to move. "Come on, I'm tired of waiting. Let's go get Ellie."

Startled by his sudden change, Nancy climbed out of the car, bewildered. "But I thought…"

"Yeah, but I don't think he's leaving anytime soon and ….the sooner we talk to her, the sooner we can both relax."

Nancy eyed him cautiously. She knew this mood; it wouldn't take much to set him off. Realizing that, she wondered if going up to the apartment made any sense at all. But Jim was already half way to the entrance to the building and she knew there was no stopping him. So she hurried to catch up.

They were quiet as they rode the elevator up. Jim walked ahead of her as they moved down the hall to the john's door. Stopping, Jim took a deep breath, glanced at Nancy to see if she was ready and then knocked. He heard shuffling sounds from inside and then footsteps. The sound of the door lock being disengaged was loud in the quiet corridor. The door opened and suddenly Jim and Nancy were face to face with their daughter.

Her shocked look, complete with eyes wide with fear and mouth opened with a no, told Jim she didn't know how to take their presence. The hairs on the back of his neck bristled as she glanced over her shoulder nervously before turning back to them. "Ellie?" Nancy said softly.

Her mother's voice seemed to snap Ellie into action. "What are you doing here?" she hissed as she stood there in a short robe and little else.

"We…we were worried," Nancy answered.

"Who you talking to, Babe?" came a question from inside.

Speaking over her shoulder, Ellie replied. "Nobody important…some people I used to know."

"Well, tell them to go away and come back to bed," said the voice.

Turning back to her parents, Ellie glared. "I'm okay. Now go away," she said as she started to close the door.

But something was wrong, Jim's gut told him and he stuck his hand out, holding the door open. "You sure you're okay?"

Frowning at him, she huffed. "Like you care…you're only here because she needed your help to find me."

"Ellie….look, that's not true. I've been looking for you for a couple of months."

"Right…." She snarled. "Well, you found me, now go…away." She glanced again over her shoulder and that's when Jim saw it, the mark on her neck. It disappeared under the fabric of her robe but from the quick glimpse he got, he'd swear it was a whip mark.

"You into S&M now?" he asked darkly.

"What? No! Not that it is any of your damned business…now go."

A shadow followed by a full bodied man appeared behind Ellie. "Babe?" he asked. Jim looked at the guy, tall and lean, dark haired and entirely too smooth to be real. Everything about him screamed phony at Jim.

When Ellie didn't say anything, just looked down, the man looked first at Jim and then at Nancy. "Who are these people?"

Ellie became even more nervous but didn't answer. The man glared back at Jim. "Who the hell are you and why are you here?"

Glancing at Ellie, seeing how frightened she was Jim tried to keep his cool, even though all he wanted was to grab her and run. Somehow he knew she'd only run back to the jackass as soon as she was able. Now looking straight into her eyes, he sighed. "You know…if you need anything, you just call….right?"

Ellie blinked in surprise and Jim felt Nancy shift next to him. "Jimmy, no…" she said. Then turning to her daughter, Nancy reached her hand out to touch her but Ellie took a step back. "Honey, we're just worried….we want to know you are okay, that's all."

"Right," Ellie snarled sarcastically. "Look, I'm with Frank now and we're good, so you guys can just go away."

Sensing Nancy's frustration and feeling some of his own Jim had to try one more time. "So, maybe we can get a bite… go to dinner some night? Catch up? Maybe even get to know Frank here?" he said in a desperate effort to leave an opening.

"Sure…whatever," Ellie said rolling her eyes. "I'll call you." Then stepping back, she slammed the door shut.

Jim stood there for a moment contemplating busting through it. But he knew that would be a mistake on many levels so he heaved a sigh and turned to walk away. Nancy walked beside him, her dissatisfaction apparent. "Well at least she was okay…" Nancy said in an obvious attempt to find something good in the exchange.

As they stepped into the elevator and Jim reached over to push the button, he grunted. "Not really," he said darkly. "I saw a mark that looked like a whip mark on her neck…if that bastard is…."

"Jimmy," she exclaimed, "you don't think she's…he's not…we have to get her out of there…"

"Yeah, we do," Jim agreed. "But me charging in like an avenger always seems to end badly so we gotta find another way."

"But you're not giving up?" Nancy asked.

Shaking his head grimly, Jim replied, "not a chance in hell…"

"So what are we going to do?" she asked as they exited the elevator.

"I don't know yet but I know somebody that maybe can help."

Nancy hurried to keep up with Jim as he walked rapidly to his car. "Where we going?" she asked as they climbed in.

"To bed," Jim said commandingly. "And tomorrow, I'm going to see a lady about a whip."

Nancy watched his expression as he turned the ignition. She didn't understand what he meant exactly and judging by his face, she didn't want to know either.

Twenty minutes later Jim pulled to a stop in the motel parking lot. Taking a deep breath, he decided to do something his gut instincts told him was a really bad idea. But he charged ahead anyway. "Look, instead of staying here…. I have a spare bedroom at my place. Why don't you come stay there with me? That way, we could maybe be more to the point in our efforts with Ellie."

Shocked by his suggestion, Nancy stared at him curiously. "You sure about this, Jimmy?"

Not feeling sure about anything in that instant, he shrugged. "Sure."

Nancy frowned and then chuckled darkly. "Okay…" she drawled, "if you think we can stand being under the same roof again…"

"Separate bedrooms and a neutral corner…I think we can manage," he quipped. "Besides, it seems senseless for you to be here when I have a perfectly good but unused extra bed."

"Okay then. Give me a few minutes to throw everything back in my bag and I'll be right out," she said energetically."

"I'll be here," he told her as she climbed out of the car and closed the door behind her. Watching her walk away, Jim rolled his eyes and sighed. What the hell did you do that for, he mentally snarled.

* * *

Hmmm... so what next? I have several directions I could go with this or I could go in all directions, lol. Most of you will guess where he's going next. But then what? And Jim and Nancy living under one roof? Awkward! But it could be explosive too;) So many things to consider...what do you think?


	9. Chapter 9

When they arrived at his house, Jim showed her the extra bedroom and the bath. "I'll set up the coffee pot and whoever gets up first can turn it on," he said before leaving her in her new room. Jim trudged down the hall to his room, closed the door, stripped down to his boxers and fell into bed. He was tired but sleep wouldn't come as he laid there thinking about _her_ being just down the hall. "Dammit," he growled into his pillow as he changed positions, trying to find a comfortable position. Problem was, the more he thought about _her_, the less comfortable he became, in a very physical way. Why did she have to still be so beautiful? His mind surveyed every facet of her face and compared how she looked now to how she had looked thirty years ago and he couldn't see much difference. Sure, she was older but her beauty hadn't suffered from it. With a sigh he wondered what she was thinking about him…if she was thinking about him at all.

Sarcastically he chuckled to himself. "She's thinking that instead of looking like a bastard you're looking like an _old _bastard now. He ran his hand over his head, he could no longer claim there was enough hair to run his hand through; and what he did have left was mostly gray. His face had filled out, giving it a rounder shape and even giving him a jowly look at times. And although he considered himself to be in pretty good shape, his body was still…old. He didn't need to look in the mirror to see that one; he could feel it. So why would she care anything about him now, he asked himself. Hell, why did _he_ care about her after….everything.

But as he lay there he realized he did care…too much considering what she had put him through. But still, he couldn't shake it so he spent the rest of the night tossing and turning in a state somewhere between awake and asleep and woke up the next morning with more than his usual problem. As he lay there waiting for things to settle down, he couldn't help taunting himself. "You jackass…"

He managed to get through morning coffee with her without letting on about his previous night's dilemma…or the morning one. She was quiet and seemed introspective, which was new for her, Jim thought. Still, he was relieved that she was largely ignoring him because it gave him time to find some equilibrium. He needed to focus on Ellie and how to help her, he thought as he sipped his coffee. Couldn't let himself get distracted by whatever the hell it was he was feeling about Nancy.

Jim had hoped to be able to make his next inquiry without Nancy along. But of course, she insisted on going with him. So mid morning found the two of them standing on the porch to a very large house, waiting for the owner to answer the door. The short wait gave Jim plenty of time to become more anxious.

"Captain Brass?" the sultry voice said in surprise when the door opened.

"La…Dr. Kessler," Jim smiled, trying to sound friendlier than he felt.

There was a tiny shift in her facial expression, one from apprehension to curiosity. "It's been a long time," she said evenly.

"Yeah, I think they wrote a song about that," he quipped nervously.

Heather Kessler's face softened a little more. She read his anxiety and yet he was here. He needed something from her and was squeamish about asking. And the woman who was with him; there was tension there…between them. "Perhaps you are right," she said as she stepped back to open the door wider. "Won't you come in? We can sit in the parlor. Would you like some tea?" Her voice was pleasant and her demeanor void of the usual uneasiness she displayed around him.

"None for me," he said, "but thanks." He glanced at Nancy who looked between him and the strange woman they were visiting. "Um, no thank you," she finally said.

"This is Nancy," Jim said to introduce her to Heather. Both women noticed the lack of a last name but remained quiet about it. "She's here from Jersey and we found her daughter who hadn't been heard from for a long time. But the circumstances are …off and I'm wondering if you'd have a few minutes to maybe help us with it."

Heather slid into a chair near her sofa and motioned for them to sit. "The girl was missing?"

"Yes," Nancy spoke up. "It had been over a year since I'd heard from her. And everything seemed fine but then… well, someone from Jersey said he'd heard that she was in Vegas and so I came out to find her. Jimmy and I…" she glanced at him nervously, "we knew each other in Jersey so he's helping me."

Heather smiled when Nancy called him Jimmy. There was a connection between the two that made him uncomfortable and if Heather was reading the woman correctly, she was uncomfortable as well, in a completely different way. "So _Jimmy_," she said, emphasizing the diminutive of his name, "you are here because you think I can help?"

"Yeah, I do," he said, totally ignoring her little jab and turning anguished eyes on her. "We found Ellie last night. She was working the streets and met this john. We've been told she's been with him a couple of weeks now."

"And you think I would know something about this…john? I'm not a prostitute, Captain Brass; and I don't know any."

Realizing he'd inadvertently offended her…again," Jim scrambled to back pedal. "No…no I …that's not what I meant. It's just…well, you've made a study of certain behaviors…in your career," he said as smoothly as he could manage. "And last night, I saw a mark on Ellie…on her neck going from her hairline down under the color of her robe. It looked like a whip mark but it wasn't at an angle that I've seen before in…well, S&M cases. I just…I don't know, maybe they were engaging in that behavior and it was an errant stroke or…" he shrugged, "maybe it is something else. I just…look, we're grasping at straws here trying to find a way to get her away from this guy. He seems to have some sort of weird hold over her. She's afraid of him but it is more than that… I thought maybe you might have an idea about what's going on between them."

Heather studied him closely and then turned her attention to Nancy. The woman was watching him, calculating his body language and seemed almost fearful…of him or…for him. But she had gone to him for help… And then something clicked and Heather understood. Turning her gaze back to Jim, she tilted her head slightly, looking at him in a new way. "Ellie is your daughter, isn't she?"

Nancy gasped softly. Jim shifted in his seat uncomfortably and then glared at Heather. But seeing that she wasn't looking to use this to taunt him, he relaxed. Realizing that she would understand what it was like having a child that was lost to you, he nodded. "Yeah, she is. But she hasn't had anything to do with me in years. I'd heard she was in Vegas but when I looked for her, I couldn't find her so I figured she'd moved on. But then last night… Heather, she's in trouble; I can feel it in my gut. But I don't know how to help her and she won't help herself."

"The whip mark along her neckline is unusual but it could have been accidental. Still that's an odd place…usually the whip is applied to fleshier parts of the back. So my guess is that he isn't using S&M in the usual sense. Now whether he is using the whip as a means to punish and control her, I am uncertain. But if she seemed frightened then you need to get her out of there before you attempt to talk to her. And even then, she might not be forthcoming."

"We tried to get her to come with us last night," Nancy said sadly. "She wouldn't."

"Was the man present?" Heather asked.

"Yeah, he was in the background at first but when we didn't leave, he came to the door," Jim answered.

"She won't leave if he is there. You must get to her when he is absent."

"Yeah, like I didn't know that already," Jim said with an eye roll.

"You're worried that she won't go with you…because it is you," Heather said thoughtfully.

""Well…yeah. She and I didn't exactly part on good terms last time."

Heather looked away momentarily. And then she sighed. "I know how difficult it can be…having a daughter who is in a precarious situation and won't let you help her."

Realizing how his situation was causing pain for her, Jim cleared his throat. "Heather, look…this isn't the same. Your daughter…she thought she was in love and got herself into a bad situation that eventually led her to an even worse one. Ellie….she…she went looking for trouble. I don't want my daughter's screw ups to cause you more pain than you've already had. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here with this…" He stood up to leave.

"No, wait… you tried to help me once…perhaps even twice…in your typically brusque way. And I appreciated that. And I felt your… sympathy with Zoe's case. I want to help you if I can. Perhaps helping will ease some of my own pain…"

Jim sat back down looking at her sympathetically. He hoped she could help for all their sakes.

* * *

So I'm willing to bet most of you knew who he was going to see in this one. I have a hard time writing Heather; I hope I captured her reasonalbly well. Love to hear from you!

Back to the keyboard...


	10. Chapter 10

This one took a little longer for me to write; I got stuck. As much as I love the dynamic between Heather and Jim, I don't feel like I have her voice yet. So I decided to just keep going and my Heather might just be a tad OC. That said, I do hope you enjoy. Please drop me a line and let me know what you think. Seems people just aren't as involved with CSI as they used to be and the conversation has dwindled.

* * *

That night the three of them sat in almost the identical spot across the street from the building that housed Ellie. Nancy, sitting in the back, watched the interaction between Jim and this strange woman he had gone to for help. She couldn't decide if they were friends or enemies or what. There was certainly some antagonism; Jim's snarkiness had really come out as the hours passed. Yet, Heather tolerated it and even seemed amused by his comments in a dark sort of way. And as Nancy watched Jim, she recognized a twinkle in his eyes that told her underneath it all, Jim liked the woman. She certainly wasn't what Nancy had understood to be Jimmy's type. Nancy also got the impression that the woman knew her way around men and understood far more than she let others believe.

They'd just had another barb filled exchange that had Jimmy frowning and Heather looking out her window and sighing deeply. Then suddenly, as if a breeze blew through the vehicle and blew everything away, Jimmy's attitude changed. "Look Heather," he said in a much nicer tone.

She turned to him, her eyes questioning. "Captain Brass?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm and Nancy realized the woman was baiting him.

"It's just…" he paused and sighed. "Look, you're here…as a friend, so I think it'd be okay if you just called me Jim." He even smiled a little. Nancy knew his smiles, his genuine ones, were few and far between. In part, it was simply his nature. But she also knew he'd had his front teeth knocked out in a hockey game as a kid and he'd always been self conscious about that even though the fake teeth were so good no one knew the difference. But that he was smiling at this strange woman, even a little, surprised Nancy.

Heather studied Jim for a long moment, her eyes flickering over his face. "If you wish," she conceded.

"Good," he smiled again, this time even a bigger smile. "I uh…I know our history hasn't been …well, exactly friendly. But that's all…"

"In times gone by?" she offered. "you mean because I'm respectable now…Dr. Kessler instead of… well, yes those are times gone by. And you were just doing your job…isn't that the way most police officers describe their appalling behavior?"

"Was I really that mean to you?" He was smirking this time. And then flashing her his innocent look, as Nancy thought of it, he continued "Geez, I'm sorry." Nancy was certain Heather was rolling her eyes; she knew her own were rolling. But she realized he was teasing the woman…taunting Heather even, the way he once taunted her when he didn't know how to express his feelings.

"At times, yes. But more than that, you were judgmental. I deplore judgmental."

"Okay, I get it," he said more seriously, almost biting. "So no more judgmental from me…I promise." He was smiling again.

Nancy felt like she was watching her ex hitting on his next…conquest? Victim? She also had the feeling he was overmatched and Heather would be the victor of …whatever it was that was going on between them.

Jimmy opened his mouth to say something but then his eyes flickered to the front of the building. "There he goes," he said as he watched the john exit the building.

"I believe that is my cue," Heather said evenly. She exited the car and crossed the street, glancing in the direction the john had gone and then entered the building. Now all Jim and Nancy could do was wait.

The quiet made Nancy anxious and she tried to break it. "Who is that woman, Jimmy?"

"Heather?" He seemed uneasy with her question. "I met her years ago…on the job. One of her…" he hesitated, "employees was murdered. It was my investigation."

But you seem more familiar with her?"

"Yeah, well…there was another case involving her business and then later…well, her daughter was murdered. Then four…five years ago she was a victim in a case. She um….well, she nearly died. She's helped the department in other investigations too."

"Wow, she's had a tough life," Nancy commented.

His voice suddenly more tender and gentle, Jim replied, "yeah, she has. Some of it was of her own making but…well, she's not evil or anything. She just pushes the boundaries."

"But you…respect her…" Nancy commented.

With a shrug Jim nodded. "Yeah, I guess I do. She's smart and very good at figuring people out. And although I doubt she has many friends, she's very loyal to the ones she does have. She helped a friend of mine a few years back when no one else seemed to be able to get through to him… I just didn't much like her business before…"

"So you like her? In spite of the way you talk to her?"

Jim seemed surprised by that notion. "Yeah, I guess I do. I mean, we'll never be bosom buddies or anything but yeah, I guess so…"

Watching him closely, Nancy could tell her questions had sparked something in him but she couldn't tell for certain what. However, she had her suspicions. But for now all of his attention was on the doorway to the building.

Heather went to the apartment door and knocked softly. After a moment the door flew open and an angry young woman was glaring at her. "Yeah?"

"Oh, I'm sorry…is this a bad time?" Heather asked evenly, careful not to inflame the woman more.

"What? Who are you?"

"I'm looking for Ellie Brass. Are you Ellie Brass?"

The young woman frowned. "What do you care? I don't know you…" and then her eyes flickered and her demeanor changed. "My dad sent you didn't he?"

"He thought, I have experience with your…lifestyle and he thought you might be willing to speak with me for just a moment."

"Lifestyle? You're a hooker?"

"Not exactly. I am…was a dominatrix and had my own business. It was called The Dominion. That's how I met your father."

Ellie snorted and laughed. "Dad went to your place…oh tell me, was he the dom or the submissive?"

Heather smiled, letting a deep chuckle escape. "Neither. He was there for business, not pleasure. He is such a dominant personality however, I can't help thinking he might benefit from being a submissive."

"Yeah well… dominant; he's that alright. So what is it you are supposed to talk to me about? I'm not doing what he wants." She was still belligerent but was beginning to relax.

"Might I come in?"

Ellie frowned. "I don't know…"

"If your man comes back you can simply explain that I know about S&M and you thought I might advise you," Heather suggested.

Ellie relented and took a step back, allowing Heather to pass. Ellie went to a chair that was obviously a comfort place for her as she curled into it. "So what's Dad message this time?" She asked as Heather seated herself on the sofa. "All will be forgiven if I jut come home?"

"No, not exactly. He is concerned about you. He came to me because he saw the whip mark on your neck. That's a little unusual… he thought things might have gotten too rough. Did it?"

Ellie frowned. "It hurt…if that's what you mean. I'm not usually into that stuff but…the pay is good."

Heather smiled. "It can be…under the right circumstances. But it is not for everyone. Are you certain this is the path you wish to travel?"

"I need the money," Ellie confessed. "Things on the street were…not so good."

"Yes, that is often the case as a girl gets older."

"I thought about porn, even did one but…" Heather waited for Ellie to continue. The girl shrugged. "Most of the girls are younger and already…I dunno, used up. And the guys….I got the impression they weren't…healthy. I haven't always been exactly careful and I've had a couple STDs that were curable but I don't want to get…"

"Something that can't be cured," Heather offered.

"Right," Ellie nodded. "I thought this gig might be better but he's…"

"Manipulative?"

Ellie nodded. "Right. But worse, he has a cruel streak."

"Ellie, I know you don't want to be told what you should do, but I strongly suggest you leave now. This man will only treat you worse and worse as long as you stay here."

Ellie sighed. "I know. But I don't know where to go. I lost my room and I only have a couple sets of clothes. I got no place else to go."

"There are your parents. They are both very concerned for you and either would be willing to give you a place to live while you decide what your next step will be."

Shaking her head, Ellie was adamant. "No, I can't go back to them, either of them. Mom will just cry a lot and ask lots of questions and Dad…he'll …he…"

"He loves you very much."

"Right," Ellie shot back sarcastically.

"He does."

"Look, did he tell you that he told me I had just become a piece of plumbing; that I had made myself into a disposable human being?"

"He did not but it sounds like him. Your father can be very blunt. But I know from experience that he has a good heart. I also know that he loves you."

"How do you know that?"

"He came to me for help," Heather stated with amusement.

Heather watched as Ellie considered everything that had been said. She could tell Ellie was ready to leave but the girl was hesitating about going with her parents. "I believe I can offer another option," she said warmly. "I have a huge house with a lot of rooms. You could stay at my house for a little while."

"Your house? You would let me do that…stay there? You'd trust me in your house?"

"There is only one thing that I treasure more than life and that is my granddaughter. When she is visiting, you will behave appropriately or you can make yourself scarce. But she will not be a victim of your situation. Am I clear on that point?"

Tilting her head, Ellie stared at the other woman. "Yeah…sure…. Okay."

"You said you have a few things?"

"Yeah…in my bag. I'll be right back."

They left the apartment a few minutes later. As the elevator door opened on the ground floor, the john stood waiting for it. Seeing Ellie with another woman, he smirked. Then seeing her bag on her shoulder, he got angry. Heather saw the outside doors open over the man's shoulder and grabbed Ellie's arm.

"Where the hell you think you're going?" the man asked.

"I…" Ellie started to reply.

Heahter interrupted. "She is going with me," she said firmly.

"The hell she is!" he yelled. "Just who the hell are you anyway," he barked.

"Her friend," Heather answered flatly.

"Bitch," the man snapped. "She's staying here," he said as he grabbed Ellie's other arm.

"Yeah, I don't think so," Jim said from behind the man. The man turned and glowered at Jim. "And who the hell are you?" he demanded.

Heather could see the coil tighten in Jim's demeanor. Staring at the man, Jim sized him up quickly. "I'm the guy that's gonna put your lights out if you don't let them go," he said in a low, threatening tone.

"Right," the man snorted as he took a swing at Jim. Jim dodged the blow and attacked, grabbing the man's arm and turning him, so that Jim had his arm tight against his back. The younger man tried to break away and Jim jerked his arm up and then, because he was so angry, Jim shoved him into the wall, mashing his face against it. "Heather, please take Ellie to the car," he growled.

Ellie stood firmly in her place however and Heather paused beside her. "What are you going to do, Dad?" Ellie demanded.

Jim closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts which were all over the place along with his emotions. Tightening his grip on the john slightly, he leaned into the man a little more, pushing him further against the wall. "What do you want me to do?" Jim asked gruffly.

"I…I don't want you to hurt him or take him to jail," Ellie said softly, almost apologetically.

"But he hurt you," Jim countered.

"Who the hell are you?" the man whimpered, his face still mashed against the cold hard surface of the wall.

Leaning in closer, Jim growled. "I'm her dad." His voice was laced with animosity and anger.

"Dad, please…just let him go."

Jim sighed. "Alright. Go with Heather…your mother's waiting in the car. I'll be out in a minute."

Ellie hesitated until Heather touched her elbow. "Listen to him, Ellie. He simply wants you safe before he releases the man. Come with me."

Ellie looked at Heather and then back at her father. "You promise, right dad?"

"Yeah, now please…go."

The two women turned and left the building. Once they were outside, Jim jerked the man's arm up even higher. Then patting his pockets, Jim pulled out his wallet and with one hand opened it. "Jonathan Mueller," he read aloud. Dropping the wallet, Jim used both hands to jerk the guy around and pushed him into the wall, his back against the hard surface now. "I'm red flagging you at PD, Mueller. You so much as jaywalk and you'll be brought in and will spend the night in _my _house. I'll be sure to put you in with the guys that are partial to pretty boys and we'll see how you like being on the receiving end of things. And you ever go near my daughter again and I promise …after I get finished with you, you won't have the equipment to charm the ladies with anymore. Understand?"

Mueller nodded, staring at Jim menacingly. Then he smirked. "Ellie's not the only bitch in town," he sneered.

"That'll be another conversation another day," Jim assured him. Then giving him one last shove, Jim released him and walked away.

Climbing back in the car, he was relieved to see Ellie sitting with her mother, Nancy's arms around their daughter. "Everybody ok?" he asked.

All three women nodded solemnly. Then Ellie asked, "you let him go?"

"Only because you wanted me to," Jim replied. "But I made sure he knows you're hands off first."

Ellie sighed, relieved. "Thanks."

He headed for Heather's place and as they pulled into her drive, he cut the engine and turned to her. "Thanks Heather. I owe you a big one," he said warmly.

Heather looked back at Ellie and Nancy and then at Jim, who was finally beginning to relax. "Not at all." She seemed hesitant and Jim realized there was something more going on with her. He also realized something else…about the way he usually treated her. Climbing out the car, he walked around to her side, opened the door and offered her his hand. She took it and climbed out of the car. "Thank you…Jim," she said with a smile.

Jim returned her smile. "This being friends is new territory," he teased.

"Yes, but I find it a much better place, don't you?"

"I do."

Just then the back door opened and Ellie climbed out. Jim looked at her, perplexed. "She's going to stay with me for a little while," Heather said softly.

Jim opened his mouth to object but something in Heather's expression told him to keep quiet. Finally he nodded. "Alright….at least I know she'll be safe and warm."

"She needs time," Heather suggested.

"Yeah right…." Then turning to Ellie, he smiled nervously. "You gonna be okay here, kid?"

"It's better this way, Dad."

Jim sighed. "Yeah, I get it. Just…keep in touch? And maybe, if it's okay, I'll drop by to check in once in awhile?" He looked between the two women. Heather nodded her agreement but Ellie hesitated. Finally she shrugged. "Yeah, okay…once in a while."

Jim stood and watched as the two women walked across the porch and entered the house. He saw lights flicker on and heard the lock tumble in the front door. Satisfied that they were in safely, he turned to Nancy who had gotten out of the car by now. "I need a drink," he breathed out.

"Me too," she smiled. "I noticed you've got a great stash at your place."

"Yeah, let's go home…" he said as he opened the front car door for her.

_Home_, Nancy thought as she settled inside. As she watched him get in and start the car, she smiled. _Yeah…home_….


	11. Chapter 11

Jim felt her watching him all the way back to his place. Her undivided attention continued as they settled in, sharing a bottle of his best Scotch. He couldn't quite grasp why she was so focused on him and it was beginning to be very uncomfortable. Finally, after his second shot, he looked at her, "What?"

She smirked and shook her head. "You," she replied enigmatically, glancing down to her drink as she did.

"Look, we played enough games back in the day, Nancy. I never was very good at reading minds, especially yours…just out with it. What's on your mind?"

"Just…you've changed."

Jim snorted. It's been twenty damn years…yeah, I've changed." He swirled the last bit of drink in his glass and downed it.

"Yeah…but…you've really changed. You… you never woulda let Ellie go with that woman before," she said as she watched him pour another.

"And I still wouldn't if I thought I had any choice. But she sure wasn't coming home with her dear old dad and I don't want her back on the street. Besides, maybe Heather can help her…talk some sense on a level that Ellie will get."

"Because she's been there…"

Jim shook his head, aggravated. "No, she hasn't been there, at least not where Ellie was. But she does understand where Ellie is. And Heather's had her low points too…" Jim's mind drifted off to the memory of her sitting despondently in her parlor, the rope bruises still raw around her neck. He'd felt sorry for her that day, real sympathy. He'd never thought of Heather like that before, as someone who deserved any sympathy, but he'd seen a different side of her and maybe understood her a little better. Her daughter's death had hurt, cut her deeply and custody of her granddaughter going to her ex had been brutal. But even in her own grief, she was still trying in her own twisted way to help the kid. Jim had understood that.

Nancy watched him as he faded away and was curious. "Where are you, Jimmy?"

Pulled from that memory, Jim looked up at her with a glare. "Where you going with this, Nancy?"

Looking down at her glass, Nancy sighed. "I don't know really. I just…you're different and I feel like I haven't changed at all. We made a mess of things Jimmy but at least you took something away from it…learned something. Me….I dunno."

Grimacing at the pain in her tone, Jim reached over and covered her hand with his huge paw. "Still learning, Nancy. We both are. Our breakup tore me up inside, you know. I kind of stumbled my way through things for awhile and didn't really care what was happening around me. Just stuck my tail between my legs and tried to keep from getting hurt. Trouble was, I was hurting a lot of people along the way. Little by little it began to sink in through my hard head and I started to look around and see the damage. It hurt. But yeah, I grew from it."

"But you never…I mean, you're not married."

"No, I wanted nothing to do with any woman who seemed to be thinking that way for a long time. Played around…_a lot_. It was just…easier. Besides, I haven't really met anyone…" he sighed deeply.

"You know, I can still tell when you're lying." Her eyes nailed him.

He glanced away quickly but then looked at her again. "Yeah, well… nothing was ever going to come of it so I never said anything."

"Who was she?"

Jim shrugged and sighed. "Somebody I used to work with; what about you? Anybody special?"

"I dated a few guys …some kind of serious. But no, I…well, like you said, nothing was ever going to come of any of it."

"Yeah," he said as he poured them both another round. "You know, a couple of years ago I was investigating a murder…a friend's wife was the prime suspect and I just knew she was having an affair with the vic. She kept saying she wasn't and my friend kept saying it wasn't possible. But I wouldn't let it go. I let my own anger and bitterness cloud my judgment and I nearly blew the case. Turned out she wasn't the killer and she wasn't having an affair. Had a lot of apologizing to do after. But it made me see how I had to let it go…all of it. I'd been carrying it around with me for too long."

Nancy smiled. "Yeah…I'm glad you could see it. Took me a long time too. But…"

"But what?"

"One thing I didn't let go of…" she said softly, almost shyly.

Jim leaned back in his chair, unsure if he wanted to know anymore. But he was a detective and damn it, detectives ask questions. "Didn't let go of what, Nancy?"

She tilted her head, lifting her eyes to meet his. "I still love you, Jimmy."

Jim blinked and took a deep breath. Looking across at her, he knew how she was hoping he would respond although he couldn't understand why. In fact, none of the conversation was making much sense to him. Maybe they'd had too much to drink, he mused. Maybe he'd heard wrong? Closing his eyes again, he did an internal survey. No, he wasn't drunk and…yeah, she'd said it. Opening his eyes, he saw disappointment in hers.. He had to say something.

"Look Nancy, I um… I…well, I'm kinda floundering here."

"It's okay Jimmy. I don't know what I was thinking…saying that. Of course you don't…it's been years and …and…Well, things change."

Feeling like a louse, Jim frowned. "Honey, you know how bad it got between us. Do you really want to risk going there again?"

"You saying you'd cheat on me again?"

"I don't know. Would you cheat on me again?" he fired back.

That brought tears to her eyes. "I…you're right…this is a bad idea."

The tears that gathered in her eyes weren't lost on him. "Nancy, we can't go back. And I'm sure you've carried around the wounds as much as I have. Too much has happened…and not happened between us …I'm sorry but love doesn't mean much without trust. And that's what killed us in the first place…no trust."

She looked at him sadly. "You're right. I didn't trust you…all those long nights when you were on the job, I imagined…well, you know…." She sighed. "And so I…I did what I thought you were doing to me. And you found out and it all just went down from there. Then you fulfilled my worst nightmares and really did have an affair."

"Yeah, well…it was kind of frosty at home by then…" he muttered. Geez, how did they end up here, he wondered. He'd tried to keep things….neutral between them. But she was dredging up old wounds.

"I know…and I know as soon as you found out that I was pregnant you ended it. What I never understood was why you stuck it out with me at all after that. You could've just left; nobody would've blamed you after it got out about Ellie."

"I stuck it out because even though I wasn't the sperm donor, Ellie resulted from the mess we made, you and me. I was as much to blame as you. And besides, after she was born…when I saw her….it was like she _was_ mine. She is mine, Nancy," he emphasized as he looked at her, his eyes declaring the sincerity of his words. "I made a mess out of being her dad but she is my daughter and I love her and…I just want her to be okay."

"Yeah, I know," she whispered. Then looking across at him her expression changed to a softer one. "Okay, so we got no future. But right now, tonight… do ya think…could we have just tonight?"

Jim sat up straighter, looking at her taken aback. "You want…" Shaking his head as if it might make some sense out of it all, he frowned. "I'm not sure what you're asking, Nancy."

"Stay with me tonight?" Then looking around the room and realizing it was his house, she revised her question. "Or rather, let me stay with you?"

Jim couldn't deny the appeal her suggestion held. He hadn't admitted it in years but the last few days had made him realize he did still love her in a dark foreboding kind of way. And she was still beautiful; there was no denying that at all. But would he be able to handle it tomorrow? As he gazed across at her, he couldn't answer his own question.

* * *

Sorry about the cliffy but it is where I wanted to leave things...for now, lol. After watching both my parents and grandparents battle, divorce, and continue to battle I am convinced of the fine line between love and hate, passion and anger. I think that if two people pair up and love one another enought to commit to a lifetime together then no matter what happens after, no matter how ugly things might become, there is always this spark between them...a little bit of hope that dwells deep within that won't quite ever go away. I watched my grandfather collapse when word came that my grandmother had died, even though they'd been divorced for thirty years and she'd never had a kind word to say to him or about him after they split. And I remember watching her face light up whenever he showed up, only to have her usual sullen expression return before he would see. I also watched as my parents were drawn together and pulled apart like two strong magnets, never really quite able to make a complete break. It caused a lot of anguish for us all and yet taught me what a tremendous force love is in our lives. But like Jim and Nancy, my parents never really trusted one another and love was not enough to overcome that.


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry for the confusion with yesterday's posting. I'm not sure what happened there. But many thanks to those who alerted me to the mess up. Hopefully this won't be as redundant, lol. And I'd love to hear from you, what you think and where you'd like to see things go. Love knowing what other people are thinking;-)

* * *

"Stay with me tonight?" Then looking around the room and realizing it was his house, she revised her question. "Or rather, let me stay with you?"

Jim couldn't deny the appeal her suggestion held. He hadn't admitted it in years but the last few days had made him realize he did still love her in a dark foreboding kind of way. And she was still beautiful; there was no denying that at all. But would he be able to handle it tomorrow? As he gazed across at her, he couldn't answer his own question. "Nancy, I don't think that's such a good idea," he said softly, achingly.

She blinked and drew back in her chair, physically putting more space between them. "I thought…well, you seemed…and I…"

Jim couldn't remember her ever having being at quite such a loss for words. In fact, she used to singe his ears with her words. But if he had changed, then she had too. Instead of striking back, she got quiet. "I'm sorry," she finally said quietly.

It was then he began to melt, feeling more like putty than he had in years. "Nancy, honey….it isn't that I don't want to. You've always been irresistible to me, you know. But with our history," he shrugged, "I just don't see anything good coming out of it. It would end up a one night stand or a brief affair and then we'd blow apart and you deserve better than that; we both do."

"I just thought….well, I wanted to see if the old spark was still there," she replied with in a deeper tone.

Smirking, Jim raised his brows and then reached over to take her hand in his. "Baby, I can answer that one easy," he said in a gravely voice. "You still got it as far as I'm concerned. It isn't easy saying no to what you're offering. But things have been kinda okay between us this visit, more than kinda okay…almost good. I don't want to ruin that. We got Ellie out of a bad situation and we've managed to get along in the process. Let's…let's call that good and not push our luck. Okay?"

Nancy looked into his sparkling blue eyes and saw kindness there; an expression she hadn't seen from him in a long time. She could also see that he was telling the truth; he _was_ feeling it. Some things a woman never forgets about her man and one is the look he gives her when he's feeling more than he can express. Seeing that look in him made her realize how dangerous her suggestion was for him, for both of them. In that one instant she realized why he'd never found anyone else. Oh they'd talked about it before but in his eyes she saw the depth of his truth. He still loved her. Despite all the bad times, all the angry words, all the dishonesty, and all the years and miles between them, he still loved her.

There was a time when she might have used that knowledge as a weapon but too much had passed, too many years without him. Her need to hurt him was long gone and as she thought back, she wondered why she ever felt it to begin with. He hadn't been the best husband, gone for long hours, married to his job as much as he was to her. But he had also had his moments, times when he dropped everything for her and later for Ellie. And when he'd realized Ellie wasn't his, he'd tried hard to overlook it. He tried to be a good father but it wasn't until this trip that she understood that he really didn't know how to do that, not back then at least. All he had known was what not to do.

So here she sat, staring into eyes that seemed to be caressing her and wishing…what? To wish they'd never divorced seemed to defeat this new understanding; it had taken that to get them to where they were now. But where were they? He was interested, she knew that much. But he was wary too…and for all the right reasons. He didn't want things to go back to the way they were any more than she did. So now what?

As if he were reading her mind, Jim shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. "Well, maybe we should get some sleep?"

"Yeah, sleep," she nodded.

He took their glasses and the bottle back to the kitchen. Smiling, she listened as he rinsed the glasses and put them in his dishwasher and then put the bottle back in the cabinet. If only he had done things like that before, she mused…if only….

They walked slowly into the hallway and to their rooms. Nancy's door was first and as she paused at her doorway, she looked back at him. He was watching her with an odd expression, almost a hungry one. But no sooner than she had glimpsed it, he'd changed his demeanor and it was gone. "Well, good night," he said softly, almost shyly.

She smiled back at him. "Good night, Jimmy." Then in a courageous move, she leaned over and kissed him on his cheek, feeling him tense and then relax, almost welcoming the contact. As she stepped away, she relaxed too. At least he hadn't reacted badly. Maybe there was hope, just maybe…

Jim couldn't sleep, not with her just down the hall, not after what she had suggested and that tease of a kiss at her door. Various scenarios kept running through his mind, memories from all those years ago, visions of how he had wanted things to be between them back then, thoughts of how he didn't think he'd mind having things now. But alongside all of that his mind was running scenarios of how it most likely would be, hurt feelings, arguments, anger, and more damage. He rolled over in his bed, trying to get comfortable, to block it all out of his mind and find some peace. He just wanted to go to sleep and forget about it.

Glancing at the clock, he realized he'd been lying there over an hour. It was rare for Jim to have that much trouble going to sleep. Staying asleep was another matter. His body was getting older and his sleep patterns less routine. Maybe it was all the years of working different shifts, of working so many years on the night shift, maybe not. He didn't know. Still, he was always able to go to sleep quickly…well, almost always. So why was tonight different?

"Damn", he breathed out into the dark room. He was back to thinking about her. Frustrated he sat up, unsure of what to do next. His body decided he should take advantage of the opportunity for a trip to the bathroom, another sign he was getting older. He chuckled as he finished up in his bathroom and washed his hands. "Good thing you said no", he muttered sarcastically. "You're not the guy she remembers."

With a sigh, he returned to his bed. _What now_, he asked himself inwardly. _Read? Yeah…_ He turned on the bedside lamp and reached for the book that sat next to it. He'd been trying to get this one read over the last few weeks but hadn't made much progress. Well, tonight promised several chapters worth of reading.

He'd started the third chapter of the night when he heard a soft knock at his door. Grimacing as he closed the book, he slid out of bed and walked to the door to open it. He wasn't surprised to see Nancy on the other side. What did surprise him was the obvious evidence of her crying. "Nancy?" he asked, wondering why she was so upset. She'd seemed okay when they said good night.

"I…I had a dream, a nightmare really. And I…" she crumpled into his chest, her face buried on his shoulder.

Instinctively Jim lifted his arms to hold her as he took a deep breath. This night was going to be longer than he could have imagined.


	13. Chapter 13

Later, Jim would congratulate himself on his wise decision to move to the living room, away from any beds. As the minutes passed with them seated on the couch, her clinging to him, it became obvious in his mind that most of this was a ruse. She probably did have a bad dream, he thought. But by now she was over it and her act was intended to weaken his resolve. Anger stirred in him; he'd thought that finally the games were over between them. Not wanting to makes things worse, however, he simply began to try and disengage, moving away from her slightly, holding her hand instead of her. Another few minutes passed and he asked if she needed anything… a glass of water?

Nancy looked up at him then, her eyes still watery but the tears gone. "I need you, Jimmy."

"I'm here," he said evenly, fear resonating through him. He didn't like where she seemed to want things to go…his heart couldn't take the inevitable pain.

"Yeah, but…not like I want you to be here for me," she whispered.

"I can't be that for you, Nancy. I don't think I could handle another …"

"It wouldn't be like that," she tried to say.

Jim tilted his head, his eyes steady and his face quiet. He didn't want his expression to give away his inner turmoil. "Sure it would; maybe not right away, but eventually. And…I'm too old for that."

She looked perplexed. "Too old? Neither of us is young anymore Jimmy; which is why I think it could be different. We're older, wiser."

Jim's smile was sad. "That's why I can't go where you wanna take us….I'm wiser."

"But…."

"Nancy, I do still love you; I don't know why and I've denied it for years. But that doesn't mean we've changed; we're still oil and water."

"Makes for a little excitement, don't you think?" She tried to use a mischievous tone but it came off as more desperate.

"I've had all the excitement in my life I can handle, Nancy." He sighed wearily. "I dunno, I've even been thinking I'm too old for the job anymore. The excitement and the fear used to give me a rush; now it just wears me down. I'm tired, Nancy; tired of always being on edge. If I did find somebody, she'd have to be someone I could relax with, somebody I could trust; and that isn't you."

Her tears surfaced again as she looked at him stricken. "Jimmy…."

"Please," he said pleadingly, his hand up to stop her. "Please don't make this harder. I'm glad we could spend some time together, glad we were able to help each other find Ellie and get her back, glad some things have been laid to rest. But I can't go back, Nancy. What we had… it was a long time ago, a very long time ago. And it has been over for a long time too."

"So we could try something new…"

"No. I gotta be able to trust you and I never will. And there's no changing that. Maybe if we'd tried years ago we could have mended it, but not now; it is too engrained."

She sighed and then stood angrily. "Well alright… I'll leave in the morning. I'm sure I can find a hotel somewhere and spend some time with Ellie before I head back to Jersey."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," Jim said.

He watched as she walked back to her room and slowly closed the door behind her. Letting out a long breath, he thought he should feel some relief; but all he felt was sadness.

She moved out the next morning. He drove her to The Bellagio, where she had booked a room. "You need anything else, just call," he told her as he walked her to the front desk.

"Yeah, I will," she assured him. Once she was checked in, she turned and smiled at him. Her smile didn't take the sadness from her eyes though. "Thanks Jimmy, I know this wasn't easy for you but you've been there for me and for Ellie."

Jim shrugged. "Yeah, well…"

"Its okay, Jimmy; I understand," she said softly. "I do. I wish it was different but…I understand."

He studied her face and saw her sincerity. With a smile sigh, he smirked. "I wish it was different too…"

"I'll call you before I leave. And I'll try to convince Ellie to stay in touch."

"Thanks."

"Okay, well….I'll head on up then," she said nervously.

Nodding Jim stood still. He glanced at the elevators and then back at her. "Yeah…" And then he leaned in and hugged her, not a romantic hug but more than a friendly hug. "You take care," he said before he kissed her cheek. Then looking squarely into her eyes he added, "and call me if you need anything."

"Right," she nodded before heading to the elevators.

Jim stood and watched as she stepped in and the doors closed. He felt something in his chest constrict at his last glimpse of her, as if a door was being slammed shut on an important part of his life. Shaking it off mentally, he turned and walked back to his car.

Nancy didn't call him needing anything. Ellie did call him once later in the week and they arranged to meet for lunch the following Monday. She asked if he would mind if she brought Heather. He knew the tactic; Heather would be a buffer between them. "No, not at all. Yeah, bring her with you," he answered, glad to have any contact with his daughter. Besides, he'd found out through the whole ordeal that he really did like Heather, now that she wasn't in "the business" anymore.

Nancy called him that Sunday. "I'm catching a morning flight back," she told him. "Just wanted to thank you again and…well…to say I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"A lot of things," she answered. "But mostly for stirring things up again for you. I just…"

"It's okay," Jim replied. "Maybe it took a little stirring to finally let go of some things. Maybe we can be friends."

"Friends, yeah…I'd like that," she told him.

They chatted a few more minutes and then she said good-bye. Jim stared at his phone for a long time after the call ended. He felt freedom, a new kind for him. Oh, he'd felt free after the divorce, in a destructive sort of way. And moving to Vegas had further freed him. But there had always been something that held him back, some invisible chain to the past, their past. But somehow in the course of the last few weeks that chain had disappeared; it was gone and he was finally free of it all. And suddenly Jim Brass felt younger and more energetic.

He met Ellie and Heather at a quiet little bistro a few blocks from Heather's house. He has glad to see Ellie looking lighter, less angry. As he took in Heather's appearance, he noticed she was dressed simply, no indication of her previous life visible. "You look nice," he said to her. "You both do," he followed with a glance back at Ellie.

They ordered and then began to talk… nothing heavy, no healing of old wounds or therapy, just small talk. As the conversation continued, Ellie grew quieter, silently watching the interchanges between her father and her new friend. It confused her at first, her feeling about them as they were obviously growing closer. But by the end of the meal she was smiling. She liked her dad like this, relaxed and comfortable. Hell, he was even funny. She'd forgotten that about him. As a child she'd thought he was very funny.

His eyes were alight with good humor and mischief. This new relaxed version of her father smiled more, a nice smile she decided. And he wasn't wearing the worry lines that she associated with most of her encounters with him. He was warm and sincere and none of the usual sadness when he looked at her was present in their conversation. Yes, Ellie decided she liked this version of her dad.

Looking at Heather, she noted that her friend seemed happy as well, laughing and enjoying the meal. Looking down at her napkin in her lap, Ellie wondered how long it would be before these two shared a meal alone and where that might lead. Oddly, she liked that notion.

Looking back at her father, Ellie decided she wanted him to be happy and she would do what she could to make that happen. Taking advantage of a lull in the conversation, she spoke. "Heather says there is a really good rehab program at the clinic where she works. If…if you're still willing to help me…with the finances, I mean, I think I'd like to try it."

Jim blinked, surprised by her request. Glancing briefly at Heather, he saw confirmation in her eyes that he'd just heard what he'd heard. "Yeah," he answered. "I'll help anyway I can, Ellie." He was too overcome with emotion to say anything more, but as Ellie looked at him and saw the water gathering in his eyes and the smile on his face, she knew what it meant to him that she'd asked.

"Good then," she nodded. "I…I want to start soon…"

Jim's grin broadened. "That's my girl," he said proudly.

Tears formed in Ellie's eyes as she looked back at him. It had been a long time, a very long time since he'd spoken to her with pride. Glancing away, she missed the wink that Jim shot Heather and his mouthing of "thank you," but she felt the subtle shift in the atmosphere between them. Looking up at Heather, she decided that perhaps she could accomplish a lot more than just her rehab with this; perhaps she might help her dad find some happiness too. After all, there was something going on between them, something fundamental that couldn't be denied. But Ellie was smart enough to know that only time would tell…

* * *

**AN: I **got the inspiration for the story from the old song "As Time Goes By" by Herman Hupfeld, even though the story doesn't exactly follow the drift of the song. - Well, the song and the most excellent Paul Guilfoyle;-) I do hope the CSI writers have done him justice with the script for episode one of the new season. They don't often do that and waste such marvelous talent by not giving him more. I hope you enjoyed. Sorry it took me so long to get it all out. Comments and reviews are always appreciated!

"As Time Goes By"

music and words by Herman Hupfeld

This day and age we're living in  
Gives cause for apprehension  
With speed and new invention  
And things like fourth dimension.

Yet we get a trifle weary  
With Mr. Einstein's theory.  
So we must get down to earth at times  
Relax relieve the tension

And no matter what the progress  
Or what may yet be proved  
The simple facts of life are such  
They cannot be removed.

You must remember this  
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.  
The fundamental things apply  
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo  
They still say, "I love you."  
On that you can rely  
No matter what the future brings  
As time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs  
Never out of date.  
Hearts full of passion  
Jealousy and hate.  
Woman needs man  
And man must have his mate  
That no one can deny.

It's still the same old story  
A fight for love and glory  
A case of do or die.  
The world will always welcome lovers  
As time goes by.

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers  
As time goes by.


End file.
